For a few years now, I have been having a bit of a minor identity crisis. Most teenagers have these of course, mostly in personal ideals, appearance, and social lives. My personal experience stems from my ethnicity. As a Guatemalan, it’s interesting to see how I have not exactly felt I have an outright identity. At least, compared to say the Mexican or Colombian population, hell even other Central Americans like Salvadorians and Ticos (Costa Ricans) have their own identity, or even just their names. Unless someone is Hispanic or is just knowledgeable about Geography, most people don’t exactly know about Guatemala itself, and I felt this during my time living there. Many people don’t exactly embrace any sort of minor culture that exists. That’s not to say there’s no culture at all, there is, but from personal experience, my neighbors did not exert either patriotism, or even any sense of having an identity, other than maybe having a nice car or a well-paying job. Now, I personally believe this is occurring because Guatemala never had a movement for cultural revival, say as communities as Harlem had in the early 20th Century. Cultural revivals basically involve groups of people embracing a sort of common culture and forming a cultural identity behind it. But due to the segregated culture of Guatemalan society, none of the Mayan, Latino, or white societies were allowed to amalgamate. These different groups of people were only Guatemalan in name, but in identity, they were just what they were born with. 

But why am I making such a big deal about this? Well, part of it could be the meek identity I have as a Guatemalan, not exactly feeling validated. This could also just be my appearance, I feel as if I’m not Hispanic enough, so I yearn for identity, acceptance, and comfort. But identity, as many of you readers may know, is an important part of humanity. We pursue a feeling of belonging, and acceptance, mostly in the eyes of others, but also ourselves. I’m sure many of you know the feeling of not exactly “fitting in,” or even if someone asks you, “who are you?” But, on the other hand, I have developed my own identity, early on at least, so I don’t exactly need a feeling of belonging ethnically-wise. But want is powerful and does push us to some lengths, and at least to me, maybe my not having an outright cultural identity now, pushed me to develop myself, and maybe in the future, my thoughts will be placed more effectively.  And maybe for the fortunate few of the future, they’ll know, and be sure and safe from themselves. Whether they hate that identity of theirs or not, the world will have a better understanding of them. But for now, who knows?

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